Thursday, June 21, 2012

Get Your A** in the Seat!!!

The past year has seen my life go through so many changes.  One of the big hurdles I've had to overcome is letting go of the "good mother".  I've had to accept myself, and my motherhood journey just as they are...completely and totally imperfect and flawed. 

A few months ago we were at a dinner party, and my good friend is telling us all the mature things her three year old says...how she answers the phone and sounds like such a little grown up.
I had to mention that MY three year old says the MOST grown up things too...like just the other day as we were getting in the car she looks at me and says,
 "I know mummy...get my ass in the seat!"

Matilda and me!
Moments like this allow me to reflect on the sheer humour of this parenting journey...they allow me to accept the fact that I'm just not going to win Mother of the Year this year...or any year for that matter...and you know what?  I'm okay with that.

I look at my 2 little girls and I can see that they are turning into such cool little people...
they're going to be the kind of people that I would want to know. 
 I am guilty of swearing, yelling, losing my temper AND my cool, but I also possess a heart that bursts with kindness, laughter, JOY, love and light...and those are the qualities that shine through in spite of all my flaws as a mother. 

I encourage you to embrace your humanity as a parent...embrace your flaws...your JOYS...your heart that brims with love, fear and all those other crazy emotions...and every now and then stop and laugh at yourself and get your A** in the seat of your OWN parenting journey!!

I would LOVE if you shared some of your imperfect parenting moments with me!!
In perfect imperfection
xo maureen

13 comments:

  1. My daughter is 2.5 and we've been having a rough time with the 2s lately. Lots of her not listening, doing random things she knows she's not supposed to and me losing my patience. The other night she was playing with her babies and I caught her telling them in a stern, very loud voice that they "hafta go to sleep and I'm only coming in one time." She had a hand on her him, was pointing at the babies and "yelling." Guess I need to relax a bit!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, Sometimes our idealism becomes very black and white, not allowing the authentic human experience to be present in us, but covering everything in blanket of appropriateness that serves no one but our image... I love that you shared this.... Good on you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! Thanks for being real. Just around the time my daughter turned 3, she hit a new level of persistence. It definitely tried my patience and I was losing my cool far too much. I had to make a deal after a very emotional night where we both ended up in tears that I would try to be more patient. I'm not proud of that moment but at the same time I know that my daughter got the message that we all make mistakes. Its not the mistake that matters most but how we deal with it. I can be proud of instilling that lesson if not proud of losing my cool with her. On a more humorous note, I realized I was cussing a mite too much when Aria was 2 and marching down a very quiet wilderness trail (but with plenty of other hikers nearby to hear) chanting "Sh*t, Sh*t, Sh*t." One of the hikers paused, turned around and said, "That's what I thought she was saying." I was a little mortified. ;) I try very hard to be a "good mother," but I know I often fall short of my imagined mark. We mommmas need to be a little easier on ourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I SO agree...I was saying to a friend the other day that the HUGE difference between myself and my parents is that my parents flew off the handle all the time, and I never knew why...there was so rarely an apology and I was often left feeling like it was my fault. When I do the "temper tantrum tango", on my kids, I often apologize immediately...and let them know that yes, they are driving me crazier today because I'm tired, or emotional, or just having a bad day...ie...I'm HUMAN!!! I LOVE sharing these stories...to me they just embrace our shared humanity as mommas.
    xo maureen

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh so many imperfect moments to share. Thanks for sharing yours and making me feel much more normal.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have too many moments to share...I think with experience comes acceptance and a real embracing of how darn hard this job can be. And I don't come down so hard on my kids when they have tantrums because that would be hypocritical, wouldn't it? We all lose our cool...talking about WHY afterwards, articulating what we were feeling in that moment, how our words/actions affect others, and what we might try differently next time is more helpful than just banishing the tantrummer to their room (I'd be in my room several times a day)....ha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Perfect timing!!! I took my girls to a thrift store today to look for treasure and had mentioned before we got into the store that if everyone was sweet in the store, we could stop for ice cream on the way home. They were anything but sweet from that moment on and I actually got so upset, I left my cart in the store and took them straight home! Get your a** in the seat was exactly what came out of my mouth as I'm getting them into he car.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I actually love these 'real' moments in parenting. They open up our eyes to realize that we are just women trying our best while making mistakes that are ok. I was in the grocery store with my 4 year old son and couldn't see the price of some fresh veggies. I asked the lady what the price was and she told me. Then my son, very loudly, said, "what'd the old lady say mom? Luckily she wasn't upset with it and laughed at what he said.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've had so many instances where I've lost my cool or said the wrong thing. Some are hard to reconcile with. Today I realized that I need to watch what I say -- I stopped cursing long ago, but I amuse myself by using colorful language. Not the best idea when there's a parroting 2.5-year-old around! How dull would life be if I could better contain myself? I shudder to think. :O

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is an awesome thread of comments. <3 My littlest one said to me yesterday on the way into the grocery store, "Mommy! Hold my hand! We're in a parking lot. Duh!" Now the "duh" part comes from his siblings, at least, but the impatient scolding just might be a reflection of my own (sometimes) words.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Let's see, where should I begin. The bad language I sometimes use? The slamming of doors? A little too much TV (we don't actually have TV but Netflix streaming is just as bad). I find that as Lola gets older, it's harder to be the mom I want to be. I try not to let it get to me too much. That just makes it worse.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yesterday afternoon we were driving home from a full day out, my wee girl (3 in a month) piped up from her seat "it is not nice to say shit" because it came completely out of the blue I was a little stunned.."pardon?" so she told me again " it is not nice to say shit, we shouldn't say shit, saying shit is not nice" ... Yep, she got that right, four times!

    ReplyDelete

We ((LOVE)) your comments!!! Thank you with all our hearts for visiting us here at Twig and Toadstool. xo

ShareThis

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails