Do you feel guilty as a mama when you leave your kids behind to do something fun for YOU?
This is something I struggle with constantly. When an opportuntiy comes along when I could spend an afternoon or even a day without them, on comes the guilt. I feel guilty for wanting time away, and I feel guilty for leaving dear ol dad, (who works full time), with the kids for that time. Here's the deal though...during the week I'm an at home mama. I do the bulk of the homeschooling, playdate arranging, cooking, shopping and cleaning. On weekends I work. And so sometimes I just need a break...I have come to realize that I deserve a day off with no children tugging at my arms, demanding my attention. Yesterday was such a day. After a night shift at work, and the morning with the family, I left...I left with my knitting basket, an assortment of yarn and some snacks to enjoy an afternoon without the kids!!
This is something I struggle with constantly. When an opportuntiy comes along when I could spend an afternoon or even a day without them, on comes the guilt. I feel guilty for wanting time away, and I feel guilty for leaving dear ol dad, (who works full time), with the kids for that time. Here's the deal though...during the week I'm an at home mama. I do the bulk of the homeschooling, playdate arranging, cooking, shopping and cleaning. On weekends I work. And so sometimes I just need a break...I have come to realize that I deserve a day off with no children tugging at my arms, demanding my attention. Yesterday was such a day. After a night shift at work, and the morning with the family, I left...I left with my knitting basket, an assortment of yarn and some snacks to enjoy an afternoon without the kids!!
Our good friend Stephanie was brave enough to teach myself and another novice knitter how to get started on a scrap cardigan...she assured us that "anyone" can do it!
(This was the friend who sat me down and taught me how to knit about a year ago...after I announced that I am NOT a knitter and never will be...now with her guidance I'm tackling my first cardigan!)
It was a wonderful afternoon...and I came back to my family feeling refreshed and renewed. Truly...on Sundays, after I'm exhausted from working all weekend long, I do my family a service by leaving and doing something fun, or just having a nap, (depending on how bad my night shift was). I need this time alone, or in the company of friends to recharge my batteries. Since I've started this journey of self care, the thing that amazes me the most is that when I take care of my own needs the end result is that my family is happier and our home is full of JOY! I'm also learning an important lesson in releasing the "guilt" that we as mothers so often carry around! Perhaps when my girls are grown up they'll know that they can take care of their own needs too, and perhaps guilt will never enter into the equation.
Please share with us your own journey of self care...it doesn't have to be done on Mondays...it can happen anytime, anywhere...you can share your links below.
Here's to some serious self lovin'!
xo maureen
I am thoroughly enjoying participating in this series! Thank you for hosting. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm with milkymumma on this one. So easy to put my needs on the back burner until I've dealt with everyone else and then there is no time or energy for me. Thanks for making me think about me.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see your scrap cardigan. I have a scrap jumper lined up to make for my youngest.
Ah yes, I know that routine. I also work on the weekends and evenings and every free minute I can sneak in along with beeing the homeschooling mama on the scene. And yes, exhuasting is one word for it ;) Last night I went out with one of my closest mama friends (and my baby since she's only 3 months old!) and we had an amazing quiet sushi night. Now even though I am back in the grind and sick as a dog to boot (mamas don't get sick days) I feel like I can seize teh day.
ReplyDeleteVisit my link above...it says it all about taking care of mama, in my life at this moment.
ReplyDeleteI'm not quite a master but am delighted to see that title affixed to my picture! You can do it!!
Wow, do I struggle with mummy guilt! I'm doing better at creating time for mama, but I haven't yet found complete release in the process. I still get that niggling voice, nagging away about the other things I "should" be doing. I guess I'll just have to keep practicing! Thanks for the inspiration! :)
ReplyDeleteoh dear sweet young mamas - take it from an older mama (40) with older children - it just occured to me a few years ago when my children were small that letting go of the "guilt" is actually a lesson in self worth for the children. The children will see you Valuing not just them- but yourself, as a mama, a human being and a parent. This is VERY important-- children mirror what they see --- if a child sees a mama that is willing to put herself on the list of what is important -- it will help them carry self worth with them into their adulthood. Good for you -- good for them !
ReplyDeletelight and peace
xoxox
a good mama friend once told me that unless I went away, Dad didn't really get to be Dad. He was often just a Mama-helper. So, it helped me to sometimes reframe it not just as my need to get away but my hubby's need for me to be away...
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that when Mama is happy, everyone is happy! I do need to take more time for myself, but it is hard to get away. Luckily I have a few hours to myself after he goes to bed at night. It's when I get the bulk of my knitting done.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something to share this week!
Kelly @ Creating a Family Home
http://www.creatingafamilyhome.com
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