The Post on How I Lost Weight and Gained a Bit of Myself Back!!!

This is my journey of transformation.  I had a friend liken it to me coming out of a cocoon...and trust me, I was wrapped up quite tightly in my cocoon for years and years and years!!!
I have to admit that writing this post is painful...it's painful to see these pictures, and to remember the person I was...but, I think it's a story worth sharing...so here it is!
*(insert deep breath here)*

This was me...and while I always tried to have a smile on my face

I was SO unhappy inside...

I have dealed with being overweight for a long long time.  My weight fluctuated from being 10 pounds overweight to 70 pounds, (at my highest weight).  I can blame this weight gain on all sorts of things, from being depressed, having low self esteem, to having babies, to just not giving a damn anymore.

I had tried losing weight before...usually with minimal success...and then it would always come back, (sometimes with a vengeance)!
For me my weight was like this layer I could hide behind...it was like I was pleased with being a victim...with putting everyone else first.  Taking care of myself wasn't even ON my list of priorities!

I hated having my picture taken...I couldn't believe I actually looked like what I saw...

One day it clicked though...I was disgusted with myself, at 5'4" I was 201 pounds...I didn't like myself, or my life...something had to change and fast.
 I remember it was Boxing Day, and I knew I wasn't going to wait until New Years Day to do something about it!  I started by cleaning my cupboards...I threw away every bad piece of food in my cupboards...all the chips, white pasta, sugary treats...and then I cleaned my fridge, and I mean sparkling clean...I needed a clean slate. 
The next day I went shopping and filled my cupboards and fridge with healthy food...fruit, vegetables, quinoa, lean meats...and then I started to exercise.
 At first I couldn't run more than 10 feet...I would just alternate between running and walking.
 After some time though, the amount I could run increased...it was slow to start, but I kept at it, (at least every other day).  I also invested in an ipod shuffle...it was amazing how music motivated me to keep going, (especially in the dead of winter)!  
As I gained some confidence and starting to lose weight, I decided to do the unthinkable...I signed up for a 5km run!  I still wasn't even running 5 km, but I thought it would be a good goal to work towards. 
By the time the race rolled around I was 30 pounds lighter...I ran my heart out, and I made it to the finish line!  When I crossed the finish line I cried and cried...months earlier I couldn't run 1km, and here I just finished 5!! 
For me exercise was THE key to being successful.  I also allowed myself treats every now and then...trust me...I don't do well with deprivation...there was chocolate involved every step of the way!
When my weight loss stalled, I decided to join Weight Watchers online...I found this helped hold me accountable, and it also helped me lose another 30 pounds.

This is me now...to say I'm happier is an understatement!

I also kept running, and by the end of summer and I went from a size 18 to a size 9/10!  Losing weight also helped me find the confidence to change other things in my life that weren't working, and some of those things were hard to face. 
My children's father and I separated, (as over the years we had grown very far apart), and I had to face the challenge of dating again, and taking care of our home all by myself.

I started making myself a priority in my life...started dancing again...went out without mother guilt...all huge challenges. 
The wonderful thing was that my children have witnessed firsthand the gift of transformation...they have witnessed happiness and self love in action, and I think they will ultimately reap the rewards by having a happy and balanced mother heading the ship!

I have managed to maintain my weight loss for over a year now...I'm down to my last 13 pounds until I reach my goal weight.   One of my tricks to keeping weight off is that I weigh myself almost every single morning.  I find this helps me better understand my body rhythms, like when I gain water weight, and I notice immediately if my weight starts to climb up.  I know this method wouldn't work for everyone, but for me I find it holds me accountable.  I also LOVE reading fitness magazines...especially Oxygen...I liked reading stories of people who were my size, who transformed themselves...to me it makes it all seem doable and it inspires me!

One of my treats for losing weight was a tattoo that I have wanted for years and years...

 Since I started this journey I've lost about 60 pounds...I feel amazing...I have newfound energy and confidence and I feel like an inspiration!  I actually have people coming to me and asking me "how did you do it?" and that's an awesome feeling!

I lost weight and gained SO much more...

Losing weight is hard...if you are on this journey I applaud you...if you are thinking about it,
I support you fully!  The journey for me will never end, but it has opened up a door to this world that is FULL of possibilities...and for that I am grateful!

with love
xo maureen

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